trixibelle

Are you shitting me?

“Remember when Adam Lambert kissed a man on TV and was blacklisted? Remember when Chris Brown beat Rihanna and won a Grammy?” — @aurosan on Twitter

Chris Brown, he of beating up his girlfriend fame, performed at the Grammys last night. My immediate reaction to this is one of outrage, and I’m astonished at the lack of outrage there seems to be elsewhere. But then I find I second-guess myself - doesn’t everyone deserve a second chance? Isn’t Brown effectively just doing his job? Would a regular Joe on the street be expected to turn down work because he was ‘once’ a woman-beater?

I have to say, my gut reaction is to say HELL, NO to Brown getting any kind of respect, admiration or money in such a public way. I find it grotesque. Maybe he (and the Establishment) thinks that he’s paid his penance and this is his road to redemption. But I would be more willing to consider the thought of second chances and I would be more willing to give Brown the benefit of the doubt if the treatment of Brown since his incident hadn’t been so royally fucked up:

Usher had to apologise for criticising Brown. Usher had to apologise for criticising Chris Brown.
The internet, obviously home to the best and the worst of humanity, rushed to discuss what Rihanna may have done/said to provoke and deserve getting beaten by a boy.
The producers of the Grammys, when discussing the fact they’d hired Brown for last night’s performance, said this: “We’re glad to have him back,” said executive producer Ken Ehrlich. “I think people deserve a second chance, you know. If you’ll note, he has not been on the Grammys for the past few years and it may have taken us a while to kind of get over the fact that we were the victim of what happened.”

I am not even going to insult your intelligence as to the astonishing levels of What-The-Fuckery that are involved in that quote.

He has done the interviews where he’s looked all sad and contrite, he’s said all the right words. But I don’t buy it. After doing the rounds of making his apologies with his big sad eyes and riding out the wave of condemnation, he had enough of discussing the violent anger problem that he apparently no longer had and proceeded to get violently angry in a TV studio.

I keep swinging between my gut instinct of severe distaste in seeing Chris Brown be admired, and thinking ‘what if he was my son/brother/partner/friend?’. I have fortunately never known domestic violence, directly or indirectly, so I can’t exactly comment on how the people that inflict physical pain on others ought to be treated. But I have and do know people (and I do mean men but I acknowledge there are women guilty of this too) that have been incredibly mentally abusive, incredibly cruel, mean, horrid people to somebody they love. The type of person that leaves you fearful, in pain, anguished and weak by the sheer force of their manipulative behaviour. And I have known those people to present such a different facade to everyone else, to be found fun and interesting, entertaining and humorous. And seeing them be admired and accepted and liked has made me cold to my core. But I have known some of those people to become aware of their toxicity, and try to change it. I have seen them apologise and seek treatment and redemption, I have seen them change before my very eyes. I have not been able to forget, but I have been able to forgive and I have wanted to forgive. That’s what we’re being asked to do with Chris Brown. In fact that’s what we’re being forced to do - the establishment has already welcomed him back with open arms.

For me, personally, it is way too much forgiveness and acceptance and admiration for Brown WAY too soon. I don’t believe he has changed, I don’t believe he respects the people that fear him and the millions of (mainly) women in the world who suffer at the hands of domestic violence. That is the thing that stops me from feeling generous or accepting towards him - I don’t buy it. And I am sickened and saddened but not remotely surprised that the music and entertainment industry - run, of course, largely by white males who appear to understand nothing of the issues involved here - has accepted him back with open arms, like some poor wayward soul that’s somehow been fucked around. He hasn’t been fucked around, he did wrong. He did majorly, majorly wrong, and he has done nothing to earn anybody’s trust or respect back.