i need you to come to terms with the way white women have facilitated some of the most unspeakable violence upon black and brown and indigenous people, bodies, and community. often in the name of white womanhood. often in the name of freedom. often in the name of feminism.
I need to read this and read this and reblog it and always reblog it.
But the Oreo Gay Pride cookies and the JC Penny advertisements is one of the biggest examples of why I hate the comparisons with Civil Rights’ Movement. There were not dozens of massive corporations backing that movement. They weren’t donating in the millions for it. They weren’t (and still aren’t) trying to be progressive in their advertisement by including and humanizing us.
Hey, white people, here’s a tip: It’s a waste of fucking time to ask other white people if something is racist because all they’re gonna do is say no and circlejerk about how black people are too sensitive
FIRST OF ALL. your child is not “stolen.” your child is RIGHT OVER THERE. please look up the word “stolen” before you use it. and yes, i understand that it’s supposed to be a metaphor, but seriously, how offensive to your child [and the autistic community overall]? that you feel that the child the universe somehow “owed” you has been taken away, and that the one you have been left with is somehow not as good? just because we might not meet the same milestones as everyone else, that doesn’t make us somehow “less.” we meet milestones that neurotypical children rarely have to worry about—things like making eye contact without flinching away, decoding the words you say, using speech in the “correct” way. you have been gifted a child, so maybe stop feeling entitled to something “better.” that’s just rude to your child and all of us.
i think this is the worst when i hear it from parents whose child can speak, but does so in a socially inappropriate or sporadic way. you think your child has been “stolen” from you? GO HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH HIM. we’re listening, even if we don’t measure up to your standards of what listening “looks like.”
and even if your child is nonverbal, again, that does not mean that he cannot hear and understand you. have you ever had someone say something about you without knowing you could hear them? you know how terrible you feel? that’s how we feel when you claim that the child you wanted has been “stolen,” as if you didn’t want a child like us.
plus, this just makes no logical sense. is your neurotypical child who does not yet speak “stolen” from you, too? can you not see your child until he can talk, somehow? did you not speak to your infant? oh wait, you spoke to your infant all the time, so that he could feel loved and accepted and then learn speech from your example? if you stop talking to your child because you feel like he was “stolen” and you’re left with just a catatonic shell, well, then, you are doing parenting wrong. numerous autistic adults [who were nonverbal autistic children] have pointed out that yes, autistic children can hear and understand you, whether or not we are verbal or responsive. so talk to your child. don’t talk about how he’s “stolen” from you, unless you believe that your neurotypical child was also “stolen” from you until he could talk. and once again…if you believe that, you are doing parenting wrong.
oh, and one last thing: please stop calling yourself “autism parents.” autistic people with children [autistic or not] are autism parents. you, on the other hands, are parents of autistic children [and eventually adults].
AN AUTISTIC GIRL WHO IS, QUITE FRANKLY, SICK OF THIS CRAP.
I’m feeling cross about Feminism. Or rather, I’m feeling cross about myself in regards to feminism.
You know how we just DO stuff, our whole lives, just automatically. We brush our teeth, we go to school, we try to get a job, we drink, we date. You know how we do those things without really thinking about it, without really examining it, until one day - I suspect usually when you’re a teenager in the midst of an existential crisis, or after a divorce or after you’ve failed exams or some other such thing - you stop and look around for a moment. You think ‘What the hell? Why is this normal? Why am I adhering to this? Why am I not questioning this?’. And then you talk about it to other people and 80% of them say ‘Why are you being weird? This is just how it is. Be normal please.' and the remaining 20% say 'Ah, you got here, did you? Welcome. I know this feels brand new to you but it’s not, please read the piles and piles of literature left here by those that got here way before you.'
Well, I’ve had no existential crisis, but I’ve had one of those DINGDINGDING moments. It’s one that I’ve actually had twice before, but each time the thought has occurred to me I hadn’t examined it I had just merely gone with it. I am talking about the tired, boring subject of Female Body Hair.
I like the feeling when my legs are smooth. I like how when my pubes are trimmed and shaped, and I have sexual contact, I am more sensitive and enjoy more touches than when my pubes are full. However 80% of the time, if it was just me on my own, I wouldn’t shave either area because I simply cannot be bothered. The thing that troubles me with all this is WHY DO I CARE EITHER WAY? Why is it something to even consider, why is it something to discuss, why do I feel the need to examine my actions - whether that action happens to be to shave, or to not shave? Why do I cave in to the wishes of my fiancé - I make more of an effort to keep myself bare/trimmed only because of him. He finds my armpit bristle “disgusting”, he finds hairy legs “disgusting”. Why why WHY WHHYYY? Why is women’s treatment of their hair so important? Why do I let it be important? I have no problem removing my body hair for my own enjoyment - but I’m not doing it for my own enjoyment. I’m doing it so that my body hair doesn’t get called disgusting, so that I don’t feel ugly in my natural state, so that I don’t feel that my fiancé finds me gross. I don’t see body hair as gross…whenever I see girls with hairy legs or armpits or faces the first thing I think is ‘HOORAY!’ and the second thing I think is ‘jebus what’s the big deal, damn right she should let it all out’. Body hair or the lack of it isn’t even a factor into how attractive I find someone - male or female.
Why is it that the way men treat ALL their hair is of almost no consequence at all, and yet the way women deal with theirs is constantly up for debate/ridicule/derision? Why is growing my leg/armpit hair a statement? Why is it disgusting? Why is a woman cutting the hair on her head short worthy of comment, but a man growing his long nothing at all? Why is it firmly expected of women to remove/trim/maintain’ their pubic hair (to the point where younger males are literally sickened and disgusted at the sight of a hairy bush) but there is no expectation at all for men to do anything with theirs?
Why do I, a strong woman, a feminist, have to battle my fiancé’s disgust over my natural state? Why do I give a shit what he thinks? Why do we give a shit what anyone thinks? Maybe I’m not that strong after all.
Edited to clarify/TL;DR:
My problem is not whether I as a feminist can/’should’ participate in personal grooming (I have no time for ‘shoulds’ in any argument); my problem is that it’s even a topic that is up for debate, that women’s body hair is a conversation piece to everybody. My problem is that my fiancé and my peers and people I otherwise like find female body hair disgusting.
My problem is that body hair (or the lack of it) is a problem at all.
“Eight percent of college men have either attempted or successfully raped. Thirty percent say they would rape if they could get away with it. When the wording was changed to “force a woman to have sex,” the number jumped to 58%. Worse still, 83.5% argue that “some women look like they are just asking to be raped.”—
Margo Maine, Ph.D. (Body Wars)
There was a time that, as a person of the male persuasion, seeing this quote made me really mad. It made me mad that women would assume that I was a rapist; it made me mad that rape was becoming ‘my problem’; it made me mad because, frankly, I didn’t think it was true. I think that this is a really common male attitude when confronted with rape statistics- or, at least, it has been in my purely anecdotal experience.
But now, I know there is no excuse for that. Men need to take responsibility and look at these numbers for what they really are, and what they really, truly represent. Men, don’t be mad at the woman who is justifiably wary that more than half of the men she knows could be her potential rapist. Don’t be mad at that there’s someone trying to rain on your fun, privileged parade where rape is something that only happens on Law & Order. Don’t be mad that you can’t accept that rape is way more common than you think. Most of all, don’t be mad at the woman who was raped and is seeking justice and help for her assault just because you thinks she looks like she was ‘asking for it.’
Be mad at the man who waits in the park to prey on the women who have a right to feel safe in their own communities. Be mad at the man who takes advantage of his drunk girlfriend. Be mad at the man who pushes the issue when his wife isn’t in the mood. Be mad at the man who catcalls, who makes unwelcome advances, who cops a feel.
Don’t be angry at the woman who doesn’t entirely trust you. Be angry at the men who have made her feel that way. Don’t be a part of a problem.
to my fellow white bio-males: be mad that there are so many men out there who don’t give a shit about consent. DON’T be mad that someone has harshed your mellow with facts; you do not have a right to go through life unchallenged.
“It’s not too much to ask men and boys to “look, but don’t touch.” A young woman who wants to be noticed, even desired, without being assaulted isn’t making an unreasonable request. She’s not defying the facts of biology. She’s asking to be watched, appreciated, and left unharmed. Saying that she’s asking to be raped is like saying that a talented actor who portrays an unsympathetic villain particularly well on screen is asking to be attacked by an outraged member of the movie-going public. There’s a difference between a performance and an invitation, and it’s not that hard—really, it’s not—to distinguish the two.”—
Fat people should never admit that they need sustenance, much less like it. Admitting that you enjoy food while fat will cause the non-fat to criticize you for being unable to control yourself around food. Especially if you have a sweet tooth or like potato chips. Things…
If you say that a woman wearing revealing clothes deserves to be sexually assaulted, you are saying that a woman's body is inherently deserving of rape. That women are inherently deserving of rape. That women have to make sure their body is hidden in order not to deserve to be raped. That is misogyny in its purest form.
There’s a common assumption about men who commit sexual assault on a college campus: That they made a one-time, bad decision. But psychologist David Lisak says this assumption is wrong — and dangerously…
Theoretical and analytical texts by McDonalds Workers Resistance.
One day our manager pulled us into the office and told us “you need to have a long hard think about why you’re here”. Well we did, and it wasn’t an easy question to answer.
It certainly wasn’t for fun- the work was repetitive and monotonous, robotic and likely to cause minor injury. The pay was piss and the uniforms were far from chic. It certainly wasn’t to contribute to the general well being of the world since our principal functions were cooking and serving slabs of dead cow, raised on deforested land in order to be sold to the impoverished parents of emotionally manipulated two year olds. The obvious answer, that we needed money to pay the rent, didn’t explain why we were working at McDonalds as opposed to doing something vaguely useful that might afford us a shred of dignity. In fact, the only reason we could see why we, or anyone else, worked at McDonalds, was because in doing so we made some rich guys we had never met even richer. Well, ‘bollocks to that’, we thought, ‘we’re not prostituting our lives to an idiotic pursuit of wealth on behalf of those who already have too much’.
Well people wrote to us, they said, “damn it boys, why don’t y’all stop moaning you damn commie faggots, if you don’t like it why don’t y’all quit?” Well we still needed to pay the rent and when we looked at our options, none of them seemed a great improvement; we could work for Burger King, or in a call centre, or in a branch of Wetherspoons… We started to wonder why all the jobs available to us were so piss and pointless. We listened to the capitalists, they explained about job creation and investment, and we learned that under their system jobs were created when rich people invested and rich people only invested when they thought they were going to make profit. In other words jobs are created, not because they serve any discernible function, or provide any tangible increase in human pleasure, but because they make rich guys richer. It wasn’t just McDonalds that was the problem, the whole thing was starting to seem a bit fucked.
It’s worthwhile following the link and reading the rest of this.