June 2012
Think Before You Speak: things i need white feminists to do before i will take you seriously →
thinkspeakstress.tumblr.com
i need you to come to terms with the way white women have facilitated some of the most unspeakable violence upon black and brown and indigenous people, bodies, and community. often in the name of white womanhood. often in the name of freedom. often in the name of feminism.
i need…
I need to read this and read this and reblog it and always reblog it.
Dion, the Socialist.: elizabitchtaylor: film about a group of men getting into shenanigans=... →
dionthesocialist.tumblr.com
film about a group of men getting into shenanigans= “comedy”
film about a group of women getting into shenanigans= “chick flick”film about a friendship between two men= “buddy flick”
film about a friendship between two women= “chick flick”emotional film about…
I'm not going to get too deep into it
But the Oreo Gay Pride cookies and the JC Penny advertisements is one of the biggest examples of why I hate the comparisons with Civil Rights’ Movement. There were not dozens of massive corporations backing that movement. They weren’t donating in the millions for it. They weren’t (and still aren’t) trying to be progressive in their advertisement by including and humanizing us.
Welp.
Fuck the HuffPo comments on that McDonald's ad
Hey, white people, here’s a tip: It’s a waste of fucking time to ask other white people if something is racist because all they’re gonna do is say no and circlejerk about how black people are too sensitive
Let me tell you a story:
- non-disabled people: I've never met you before; can you have sex?
- non-disabled people: But how do you have sex? Will you draw me a diagram?
- non-disabled people: Wow you're so gross and unusual, I think I'll post your picture on facebook without your permission, and people will admire me for being a Good Person
- non-disabled people: Here, let me touch you and violate your personal space without permission.
- non-disabled people: Do you need help? No? Ok let me help you.
- non-disabled people: Differently Abled
- non-disabled people: "The only disability in life is a bad attitude"
- non-disabled people: I'm taking disability studies this year. Let me tell you all about disability, and how you should feel about it.
- non-disabled people: Disabled people should not want to have sex, because it offends me on a personal level and I believe that I have the right to dictate what other people do with their lives.
- non-disabled people: But I have a disabled friend
- non-disabled people: But I have a disabled child (...that I'm probably abusing)
- non-disabled people: Disabled people are not productive members of society; they don't have a right to live.
- non-disabled people: I broke my foot once, I understand.
- non-disabled people: If I were you, I would want to be dead. You're so inspiring.
- non-disabled people: Why are you so angry all the time?
- non-disabled people: Why do you have a crowbar?
Play
3:40
Life, Love, and Math: AN OPEN LETTER TO ANY "AUTISM PARENT" WHO CLAIMS THEIR CHILD HAS BEEN "STOLEN BY AUTISM:" →
liveloveandmath.tumblr.com
FIRST OF ALL. your child is not “stolen.” your child is RIGHT OVER THERE. please look up the word “stolen” before you use it. and yes, i understand that it’s supposed to be a metaphor, but seriously, how offensive to your child [and the autistic community overall]? that you feel that the child the universe somehow “owed” you has been taken away, and that the one you have been left with is somehow not as good? just because we might not meet the same milestones as everyone else, that doesn’t make us somehow “less.” we meet milestones that neurotypical children rarely have to worry about—things like making eye contact without flinching away, decoding the words you say, using speech in the “correct” way. you have been gifted a child, so maybe stop feeling entitled to something “better.” that’s just rude to your child and all of us.
i think this is the worst when i hear it from parents whose child can speak, but does so in a socially inappropriate or sporadic way. you think your child has been “stolen” from you? GO HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH HIM. we’re listening, even if we don’t measure up to your standards of what listening “looks like.”
and even if your child is nonverbal, again, that does not mean that he cannot hear and understand you. have you ever had someone say something about you without knowing you could hear them? you know how terrible you feel? that’s how we feel when you claim that the child you wanted has been “stolen,” as if you didn’t want a child like us.
plus, this just makes no logical sense. is your neurotypical child who does not yet speak “stolen” from you, too? can you not see your child until he can talk, somehow? did you not speak to your infant? oh wait, you spoke to your infant all the time, so that he could feel loved and accepted and then learn speech from your example? if you stop talking to your child because you feel like he was “stolen” and you’re left with just a catatonic shell, well, then, you are doing parenting wrong. numerous autistic adults [who were nonverbal autistic children] have pointed out that yes, autistic children can hear and understand you, whether or not we are verbal or responsive. so talk to your child. don’t talk about how he’s “stolen” from you, unless you believe that your neurotypical child was also “stolen” from you until he could talk. and once again…if you believe that, you are doing parenting wrong.
oh, and one last thing: please stop calling yourself “autism parents.” autistic people with children [autistic or not] are autism parents. you, on the other hands, are parents of autistic children [and eventually adults].
SINCERELY,
AN AUTISTIC GIRL WHO IS, QUITE FRANKLY, SICK OF THIS CRAP.
Same old same old
I’m feeling cross about Feminism. Or rather, I’m feeling cross about myself in regards to feminism.
You know how we just DO stuff, our whole lives, just automatically. We brush our teeth, we go to school, we try to get a job, we drink, we date. You know how we do those things without really thinking about it, without really examining it, until one day - I suspect usually when you’re a teenager in the midst of an existential crisis, or after a divorce or after you’ve failed exams or some other such thing - you stop and look around for a moment. You think ‘What the hell? Why is this normal? Why am I adhering to this? Why am I not questioning this?’. And then you talk about it to other people and 80% of them say ‘Why are you being weird? This is just how it is. Be normal please.’ and the remaining 20% say ‘Ah, you got here, did you? Welcome. I know this feels brand new to you but it’s not, please read the piles and piles of literature left here by those that got here way before you.’
Well, I’ve had no existential crisis, but I’ve had one of those DINGDINGDING moments. It’s one that I’ve actually had twice before, but each time the thought has occurred to me I hadn’t examined it I had just merely gone with it. I am talking about the tired, boring subject of Female Body Hair.
I like the feeling when my legs are smooth. I like how when my pubes are trimmed and shaped, and I have sexual contact, I am more sensitive and enjoy more touches than when my pubes are full. However 80% of the time, if it was just me on my own, I wouldn’t shave either area because I simply cannot be bothered. The thing that troubles me with all this is WHY DO I CARE EITHER WAY? Why is it something to even consider, why is it something to discuss, why do I feel the need to examine my actions - whether that action happens to be to shave, or to not shave? Why do I cave in to the wishes of my fiancé - I make more of an effort to keep myself bare/trimmed only because of him. He finds my armpit bristle “disgusting”, he finds hairy legs “disgusting”. Why why WHY WHHYYY? Why is women’s treatment of their hair so important? Why do I let it be important? I have no problem removing my body hair for my own enjoyment - but I’m not doing it for my own enjoyment. I’m doing it so that my body hair doesn’t get called disgusting, so that I don’t feel ugly in my natural state, so that I don’t feel that my fiancé finds me gross. I don’t see body hair as gross…whenever I see girls with hairy legs or armpits or faces the first thing I think is ‘HOORAY!’ and the second thing I think is ‘jebus what’s the big deal, damn right she should let it all out’. Body hair or the lack of it isn’t even a factor into how attractive I find someone - male or female.
Why is it that the way men treat ALL their hair is of almost no consequence at all, and yet the way women deal with theirs is constantly up for debate/ridicule/derision? Why is growing my leg/armpit hair a statement? Why is it disgusting? Why is a woman cutting the hair on her head short worthy of comment, but a man growing his long nothing at all? Why is it firmly expected of women to remove/trim/maintain’ their pubic hair (to the point where younger males are literally sickened and disgusted at the sight of a hairy bush) but there is no expectation at all for men to do anything with theirs?
Why do I, a strong woman, a feminist, have to battle my fiancé’s disgust over my natural state? Why do I give a shit what he thinks? Why do we give a shit what anyone thinks? Maybe I’m not that strong after all.
Edited to clarify/TL;DR:
My problem is not whether I as a feminist can/’should’ participate in personal grooming (I have no time for ‘shoulds’ in any argument); my problem is that it’s even a topic that is up for debate, that women’s body hair is a conversation piece to everybody. My problem is that my fiancé and my peers and people I otherwise like find female body hair disgusting.
My problem is that body hair (or the lack of it) is a problem at all.
