But the Oreo Gay Pride cookies and the JC Penny advertisements is one of the biggest examples of why I hate the comparisons with Civil Rights’ Movement. There were not dozens of massive corporations backing that movement. They weren’t donating in the millions for it. They weren’t (and still aren’t) trying to be progressive in their advertisement by including and humanizing us.
Hey, white people, here’s a tip: It’s a waste of fucking time to ask other white people if something is racist because all they’re gonna do is say no and circlejerk about how black people are too sensitive
- non-disabled people: I've never met you before; can you have sex?
- non-disabled people: But how do you have sex? Will you draw me a diagram?
- non-disabled people: Wow you're so gross and unusual, I think I'll post your picture on facebook without your permission, and people will admire me for being a Good Person
- non-disabled people: Here, let me touch you and violate your personal space without permission.
- non-disabled people: Do you need help? No? Ok let me help you.
- non-disabled people: Differently Abled
- non-disabled people: "The only disability in life is a bad attitude"
- non-disabled people: I'm taking disability studies this year. Let me tell you all about disability, and how you should feel about it.
- non-disabled people: Disabled people should not want to have sex, because it offends me on a personal level and I believe that I have the right to dictate what other people do with their lives.
- non-disabled people: But I have a disabled friend
- non-disabled people: But I have a disabled child (...that I'm probably abusing)
- non-disabled people: Disabled people are not productive members of society; they don't have a right to live.
- non-disabled people: I broke my foot once, I understand.
- non-disabled people: If I were you, I would want to be dead. You're so inspiring.
- non-disabled people: Why are you so angry all the time?
- non-disabled people: Why do you have a crowbar?
I’m feeling cross about Feminism. Or rather, I’m feeling cross about myself in regards to feminism.
You know how we just DO stuff, our whole lives, just automatically. We brush our teeth, we go to school, we try to get a job, we drink, we date. You know how we do those things without really thinking about it, without really examining it, until one day - I suspect usually when you’re a teenager in the midst of an existential crisis, or after a divorce or after you’ve failed exams or some other such thing - you stop and look around for a moment. You think ‘What the hell? Why is this normal? Why am I adhering to this? Why am I not questioning this?’. And then you talk about it to other people and 80% of them say ‘Why are you being weird? This is just how it is. Be normal please.’ and the remaining 20% say ‘Ah, you got here, did you? Welcome. I know this feels brand new to you but it’s not, please read the piles and piles of literature left here by those that got here way before you.’
Well, I’ve had no existential crisis, but I’ve had one of those DINGDINGDING moments. It’s one that I’ve actually had twice before, but each time the thought has occurred to me I hadn’t examined it I had just merely gone with it. I am talking about the tired, boring subject of Female Body Hair.
I like the feeling when my legs are smooth. I like how when my pubes are trimmed and shaped, and I have sexual contact, I am more sensitive and enjoy more touches than when my pubes are full. However 80% of the time, if it was just me on my own, I wouldn’t shave either area because I simply cannot be bothered. The thing that troubles me with all this is WHY DO I CARE EITHER WAY? Why is it something to even consider, why is it something to discuss, why do I feel the need to examine my actions - whether that action happens to be to shave, or to not shave? Why do I cave in to the wishes of my fiancé - I make more of an effort to keep myself bare/trimmed only because of him. He finds my armpit bristle “disgusting”, he finds hairy legs “disgusting”. Why why WHY WHHYYY? Why is women’s treatment of their hair so important? Why do I let it be important? I have no problem removing my body hair for my own enjoyment - but I’m not doing it for my own enjoyment. I’m doing it so that my body hair doesn’t get called disgusting, so that I don’t feel ugly in my natural state, so that I don’t feel that my fiancé finds me gross. I don’t see body hair as gross…whenever I see girls with hairy legs or armpits or faces the first thing I think is ‘HOORAY!’ and the second thing I think is ‘jebus what’s the big deal, damn right she should let it all out’. Body hair or the lack of it isn’t even a factor into how attractive I find someone - male or female.
Why is it that the way men treat ALL their hair is of almost no consequence at all, and yet the way women deal with theirs is constantly up for debate/ridicule/derision? Why is growing my leg/armpit hair a statement? Why is it disgusting? Why is a woman cutting the hair on her head short worthy of comment, but a man growing his long nothing at all? Why is it firmly expected of women to remove/trim/maintain’ their pubic hair (to the point where younger males are literally sickened and disgusted at the sight of a hairy bush) but there is no expectation at all for men to do anything with theirs?
Why do I, a strong woman, a feminist, have to battle my fiancé’s disgust over my natural state? Why do I give a shit what he thinks? Why do we give a shit what anyone thinks? Maybe I’m not that strong after all.
There is a longer version of this post here.
Edited to clarify/TL;DR:
My problem is not whether I as a feminist can/’should’ participate in personal grooming (I have no time for ‘shoulds’ in any argument); my problem is that it’s even a topic that is up for debate, that women’s body hair is a conversation piece to everybody. My problem is that my fiancé and my peers and people I otherwise like find female body hair disgusting.
My problem is that body hair (or the lack of it) is a problem at all.