As someone with a disability, one of the things I often hear is assumptions about performance. Usually it’s no one who knows me, or an overheard conversation, maybe it’s a scrap of overheard conversation or a side-note in a newspaper editorial.
What I hear is fundamental lack of understanding on…
Last night we had a brilliant discussion in Dutch class. It took about an hour for us all to sufficiently understand each other because our Dutch is nowhere near good enough for proper conversations haha, but it was great nonetheless.
My class is supposed to have around 19 people in it, but most days there’s only about 8-10 of us. The class is mostly comprised of guys from Morocco/Syria/Turkey and a mix of people from Brazil/The Dominican Republic. Last night our tutor Rens got us to translate a newspaper article about an Iraqi man who married two cousins at once - to his family’s surprise. All the guys from Morocco, Syria and Turkey are Muslim so my tutor asked him if this was normal, what they thought about it, and the conversation developed from there. It turns out that Islam allows up to four wives for a man, but in reality only rich men tend to take more than one wife. Also, most guys (and apparently the women too) think it is crazy and madness and that having one partner is trouble enough, hahaha. They kept saying “Een vrouw, geen probleem! Meer vrouwen, alleen probelemen!” (One woman, no problem! More women, only problems!) which is quite right, too, I should imagine. The guys from Morocco were particularly like ‘helllllllll no’ hahaha. The one guy from Syria, Ari, has a girlfriend and said that she’s so “gek” (crazy) that he’s not allowed to look at other women in the street, so he definitely wouldn’t be allowed another woman. Hahaha! He said he would quite happily take another woman, but only if it wouldn’t upset his current girlfriend (which it would)…which is nice…I suppose!
Rens then said that he had a theory, and that was that perhaps women consented more to polygamous marriages in certain parts of the world/cultures because they either can’t or simply don’t have financial independence. The Moroccan guys said this was definitely a contributing factor. Then we had a long, long, LONG confusing time trying to ask these guys whether if a woman had her own job & money, and she had the choice between marrying a rich man that already had two wives or a man with less money but was single, who would she choose? And they all said without a doubt she would never marry the rich man+2 wives. So that kind of backed up his theory. The guys said that in Morocco it’s still definitely Islamic but that our generation is definitely far more equal and women have a little more choice than their parents did - however, women outnumber men by something bonkers like 1:7, so polygamous marriages might still occur because of that reason.
I asked them if they knew people here that had polygamous relationships and they said no, not a single Muslim person they knew had more than one wife (legal or otherwise). Although I did get the impression that some of the men play around a bit and probably tend to have a couple of women on the go before they get married!
It was all fascinating. But I did wonder how objective their assessment was - after all, they have moved to a secular, liberal (compared to Islamic countries) country so they must have a degree of liberalism to them? I think? Maybe if we went to Morocco and spoke to people that hadn’t left we would find the majority hold more traditional views. I dunno.
Every time I see anything about fucking star-signs on my dashboard it makes me want to immediately unfollow. I usually manage to live my life forgetting the fact that people believe this shit. Please stop reminding me. Plllleeeeeeaaaase.
I even see frickin die-hard atheists reblogging star-sign shit. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOOOUUU??!?
OFFER YOUR GUEST TEA AS SOON AS THEY ARRIVE - GIVE THEM THE LARGER MUG, BECAUSE THEN THEY CAN HAVE MORE TEA IN IT, AND MORE TEA IS BETTER - OFFER THEM MORE TEA AS SOON AS THEY HAVE FINISHED THEIR MUG OF TEA, BECAUSE MORE TEA IS…
I see the word ableism getting flung around a lot lately. Most of the time, it’s justified ableism. But people toss it at others like a knife. Like a weapon. Like it’s a word that’s meant to hurt. And then the recipients, the one who are being…
I have a lot of things going around in my head about the video made by the father whose son was bullied and abused by the teachers in the class for children with autism, and I’ll probably reblog it by and by when I’ve come to better grips with them.
“Lack of motivation” is a generally misunderstood symptom of depression. It does not mean that I sit around thinking, “Oh, I’m so depressed; why bother to do shit I don’t want to do anyway.” It means not that I lack discipline, but that there is a mental disconnect between my conscious mind, which says I want or need to do X, and the part of my brain which actually initiates activity. It prevents me from doing things I would very much like to do, as well as things I need to do, rather than indicating simply a lack of interest in doing things which are not immediately rewarding.
If you want or need to go somewhere, whether somewhere you’re eagerly looking forward to going, or somewhere routine, or to the dentist for a root canal which you may be much averse to but have nevertheless decided will leave you better off in the long run, and you get in your car, turn the key in the ignition repeatedly, yet the engine sputters but does not engage, this is not an indication that you don’t really want to go anywhere. It’s an indication that something is wrong with the equipment you need to transport you there.
I am fully capable of sitting for hours, thinking periodically, “I need to pee,” then, “I really need to pee,” and eventually, “Damn, I need to pee,” before being able to jump start the part of my brain which engages with the task of getting up and walking the ten feet to the bathroom, and initiates the movement which allows me to do that.
The more complex the task, the harder it can be, because a more complex sequence of actions must be, in some sense, imagined and targeted before the actions necessary to bring them about can be initiated. Most people are unaware that this process even takes place, because in a healthy brain, it occurs swiftly and automatically. In my brain, it does not.”—
There is a lot of push back from women who claim to be feminists but don’t believe race is part of the conversation. I’ve seen impassioned arguments and explanations as to why the two things must be talked about together. It never fails to end with the faux…
“When I want to know what misogyny is, I don’t ask a man. When I want to know what racism is, I don’t ask a white person. When I want to know what homophobia is, I don’t ask a heterosexual. When I want to know what transphobia is, I don’t ask a cisgender person. When I want to know what ableism is, I don’t ask an able-bodied person. The contours and definitions of oppression are best articulated by the oppressed.”—Son of Baldwin
I was doing an interview once, and this guy goes, “So you must be pretty psyched about all this ‘Slumdog Millionaire’ stuff?”
And I was like, “Um, yeah, I am.” I have no idea why though. I had nothing to do with that movie. It’s just some people that kind of look like me are in this movie that everyone loves, and winning Oscars and stuff.
And then I was like, “Whoa, whoa, whoa. Are white people just psyched all the time?” It’s, like, “‘Back to the Future’! That’s us! ‘Godfather’! That’s us! ‘Godfather Part II’! That’s us! ‘Departed’! That’s us! ‘Sunset Boulevard’! That’s us! ‘Citizen Kane’! That’s us! ‘Jaws’! That’s us! Every fucking movie but ‘Slumdog Millionaire’ and ‘Boyz n the Hood’ is us! We are white people! Suck our dicks!”
”—Aziz Ansari, “Are White People Psyched All The Time?” (via ceedling)
So… I’ve had tumblr for a while now and I’ve come to realize that there is a large community of people with disabilities. Many of these people are just normal, everyday people who write about their lives and experiences. However, I’ve also noticed that a significant number of disabled bloggers (I…
You’re right, your post does make this (invisible disability) blogger think you are young and naive. You haven’t annoyed or angered me, personally, though. I just think you’re being a bit dumb.
Your main gripe seems to be that because you are not aware of experiencing something/you haven’t experienced people treating you in any way other than equal, it doesn’t happen. You seem to be saying that because you haven’t experienced something, it’s not real, it’s not palpable. Because you are not aware of something, you are confused by the people that have, and you think they’re making a big deal out of nothing. You seem to think we ought to be calm and balanced and not get angry and be understanding of the masses of able people whom 90% of the time have no idea when they are being ignorant unthinking arseholes.
Just because you are unaware of something, just because you are lucky enough not to notice when people treat you differently/negatively, talk to and about you differently/negatively, does not mean we are wrong. It doesn’t mean our reality is not there. My disability is a walk in the park compared to the majority of other disabilities out there, and if even I have received bullshit for YEARS, you can bet sure as hell that others have received the same and worse.
I have found that people, for the most part, want to be good and want to help. Unfortunately, before that, they tend to be dumb and fail to put themselves in other’s shoes. This results in either (a) treating anybody different to them in an un-thinking way (b) ignoring anybody different to them all together. Both of these things are caused by fear of the unknown and both are generally forgivable if the person is open to broadening their horizons and opening their ears and listening to people. Unfortunately, if you have to deal with that with every.single.fucking.person. that you encounter, you’re probably not going to have much room for being calm, gracious, patient, helpful or wise. You’re probably more likely to get sick and tired of dealing with morons every day. And yup, sometimes you might come across as an ‘…asshole’. Considering what some people have to put up with everyday, I would think that’s understandable, acceptable, and just dandy.